This is the original. Inspired by growing up in Bakersfield, CA. The song explores themes of drugs, social encounters, and personal struggles, reflecting on the complexities of relationships and the pursuit of happiness, suggesting that despite life's challenges, there is beauty to be found. The lyrics convey a sense of rejection of conformity to the ways of this world and a duty to deny oneself.
Lyrics
[Verse 1]
Passed the bottle
Passed the time
Passed the point of calling it fun
Red eyes
Same small talk
Different name for the same blue run
Laughed loud
Then I drifted
To the corner with the peeling paint
Watched you dance like nothing’s twisted
Knowing both of us felt the weight
[Chorus]
I gotta deny myself
If I wanna be free
Can’t keep chasing every high
That keeps on breaking me
Yeah the world says “come and drown”
But I’m learning how to breathe
In the middle of the mess
There’s a strange
Fierce beauty
If I lose this hollow crown
Maybe I can finally see
[Verse 2]
Saw you outside on the curb
Ash on your shirt like cheap perfume
You said
“This is just what we do”
I felt my chest become a room
Full of faces
Full of offers
Every smile with a hidden fee
I turned down another shortcut
Just to sit with what’s left of me
[Chorus]
I gotta deny myself
If I wanna be free
Can’t keep chasing every high
That keeps on breaking me
Yeah the world says “come and drown”
But I’m learning how to breathe
In the middle of the mess
There’s a strange
Fierce beauty
If I lose this hollow crown
[Bridge]
They say “give in
It gets easy”
I say “give up
You lose your name”
I’d rather walk this narrow lonely
Than sprint inside a burning flame
So I’ll pour the poison out
Let it run into the gutter
Lift my eyes above the noise
I’’m not made to blend in
I was born to break this chain
[Chorus]
(I gotta deny myself
If I wanna be free
Can’t keep chasing every high
That keeps on breaking me)
I gotta deny myself
If I wanna be free
Can’t keep chasing every high
That keeps on breaking me
Yeah the world says “come and drown”
But I’m learning how to breathe
In the middle of the mess
There’s a strange
Fierce beauty
If I lose this hollow crown
[Outro]
Rain, rain, go away
Come again another day
Little Ronnie wants to play
Rain, rain, go away
Come again another day
Little Ronnie wants to play
Rain, rain, go away, go away, GO AWAY!
Girls and boys, come out to play,
The moon doth shine as bright as day,
Leave your supper, and leave your sleep,
Bring your friends into the street.
Sugar on the surface,
Rot underneath,
Hold your breath,
Count to three,
Sink or swim,
Learn to breathe,
Close your eyes and
Count to three